Friday, April 3, 2015

G

How do I begin explaining what I feel? How do I unload these words that I have carried for so long? How do I simply, and honestly, tell you that you're still inside me, living and breathing and holding my heart?

You see, I still love you G. I'm still desperately chained to the clutches of our past. And it hurts to know every single day that you're already too far beyond my grasp. I'm no longer important to you G. I'm already just a replaceable face you met.

As much as I want to, I don't want to be just a face to you. I want to be the face you wake up next to; the same one you sleep next to; and the same one you'd want to spend the rest of your life with. Because truthfully, you still are that face to me G.

But of course, I understand that I cannot oblige you to love me back. Even if I really want you too. I understand how much you value freedom, and I've already given you that. I understand how much you want to explore and I am praying that you will find what you are looking for. Along with this prayer though is a silent wish that you'd come back to me, fulfilled, contented, and ready to settle.

Truth be told, I sometimes wish that I never let you go. I did though. Because you wanted freedom. Because my love isn't as selfish as I wish it would be. You were made for great things G. And I don't want to be the person who'll hinder your chances at chasing and fulfilling your dreams. I don't want to pin you. I love you too much to cage you.

I 'm still in love with you G. You don't, though. And that's what hurts the most.

R.