Saturday, May 24, 2014

Beauty and Cat Thoughts

Of all the movies that Disney has spilled all over the quantumverse, the 1959 classic Sleeping Beauty is my utmost favorite. Mostly because the protagonist's name, Aurora, means dawn and I was birthed at 5AM which basically gives me unconditional rights to parallel myself to this fairytale and assume that I am also a beauty that horned witches will curse for and valiant princes will die for. And also, because it teaches us the valuable lesson that sleep is very important because you just might, just might, be kissed and roused by a handsome prince you just met yesterday.

* * * * *

In other news, I want a cat and I shall call it Moccasin. And it should be orange. Golden orange. Like flakes of sunshine trapped in its hair. It should have an unquenchable craving for milk which would explain the softness of its fur, the deep emerald of its eyes and its subtle meows. It should have soft paws and an uncanny savvy for purple yarn.

Thursday, May 22, 2014


I don't really know if I should blog my medical status considering how public online platforms can get but I suppose there's nothing wrong with saying a tiny bit of what I can share. After all, I still consider myself a private person and I don't like people I know prying over my life.

For one, my December cyst is no longer existing (or never actually did) as my recent ultrasound showed. This is good news considering my family's cancer history. Of course, this can never account for my entire body but that is something worth being positive about.

Secondly, I am absolutely not allowed to carry anything heavy and have coughs and constipation. Exerting effort is a no no. Otherwise I will have to lie down on an operating table and I'd like to delay that as much as I can considering how financially challenged we are at the moment.

This lifestyle change calls for a certain degree of passivity. The one that requires reading books, sitting all day, drinking tea and imagining the active days that lay beyond the oblivion of yesterday.

Saturday, May 17, 2014

Tame the Bird

Twitter is killing my capacity-or what's left of my capacity- to construct cohesive paragraphs. It encourages me to multithink and multitask that even if I'm actually writing this right now, I'm also thinking about starched white shirts draped on clotheslines against a backdrop of a cerulean sky. Or maybe grey. And flower crowns that women wear and worthless thingamajigs.

The point is, I'm trying so hard so whip a decent literary confection right now but all I can do are mostly short phrases, like cupcakes or macaroons, which I hope are edible enough. And now tables of baked brownies and polvoron are floating overhead.

Maybe I'm just hungry. And this black hole of a stomach is sucking all the juices I have that enables me to write anything.

Wednesday, May 14, 2014

On Death, Again

Death is a consequence of mortality and every second is a slow dance towards decomposition. As my law teacher has put it, "death is not news" (for which later he added that "not dying is"). Death is the completion of one's life cycle. To die, therefore, is not an issue after all.

However, human as we are, we are scared of death, or of what happens after death. We're scared of missing out on things; not being able to read the books you've always wanted to spend forever with, not being able to star gaze on dark, cloudless nights, not seeing the laughter of children, or particularly your baby cousin that you love so much. We're scared of parting. Of saying goodbye to people, habits and experiences. Of assigning to oblivion the things you've always wanted to tell someone but never had the chance to.

Death is an everyday reality. Life is a slow dance towards that reality. Therefore dance with as much grace as you can. Extend your limbs. Improve your posture. Commit to memory the choreography that you're set to do. And most of all, make that ending spectacular.

Saturday, May 10, 2014

Summer Anthems

Still waiting for this though.

Recently, The 1975 has casts spells of wild indie pop/rock abandon to my being. Girls and Robbers are playlist mainstays but the most recent replay rapist was most definitely Settle Down with it's undying upbeat inclinations. It's one of those songs that just makes you just wanna grab a bottle of beer (even if you don't normally drink on weekdays) and light cigarettes (even if you don't really smoke), while you're silently nodding your head to the endless loop of awesome.

Another spellcaster was Pharrell William's Come Get it Bae (UNQLO's campaign ost). Pharrell's falsettos on his new album, G I R L were orgasmic with most of the songs gravitating towards the predecessors Happy and Marilyn Monroe. Paloma Faith's A Perfect Contradiction is also another mainstay on my summer playlist. Can't Rely On You (written by Pharrell) easily became my favorite song on the album.

Lana del Rey's West Coast (from her upcoming album Ultraviolence) however won the crown for most replays. The siren's lullaby is perfect for a moody solo beach adventure while you're showing off your nonexistent tattoos and beautifully emoting while the waves of the sea submerge you to a deep abyss of contemplation.

And of course, any playlist will never be complete without a Beyonce song on the loop. The only difference is that it's a 2003 track titled Baby Boy that adds shimmies to my already awkward dance moves.

Tuesday, May 6, 2014

On Death

Death is not the cessation of life. Rather, it is the completion of life. That sublime moment when life comes full circle, when A becomes ash, when the birds that sowed the pollen that fed your mother meets the birds that will later eat the worms that will decompose the body.

Death is not the end. Rather, it is the beginning of something none of us could ever imagine.

Thursday, May 1, 2014

Dear Nanay Deb

Rest in peace. May eternal slumber alleviate you from the pains of battling breast cancer and its many complications. Seeing you cry and wail in agony as the silent tentacles of cancer envelope your body was too painful that your recent state is, pardon the term, a relief for most of us. We love you Nanay. And we hate seeing you suffer.

We love you.

Never forget that. In the same way that we will never forget you. Your consistent reminders for us to get our acts straight; to eat vegetables; to uphold what is true and just; and to keep the family together, will always be with us.

It was a good life Nanay. That's one good reason for all of us to smile.

Yours truly,

The people who love you.