Saturday, April 19, 2014


Starry, starry night
Paint your palette blue and gray
Look out on a summer's day
With eyes that know the darkness in my soul 
Shadows on the hill
Sketch the trees and the daffodils
Catch the breeze and the winter chills
In colors on the snowy linen land 

Friday, April 11, 2014

The Name Game

For quite a while now, I've been thinking of the universe and it's spectrum of theories and magic. Nothing scientific really. But just pure, solid and sordid thinking that just spurts out of this addled brain in between day to day engagements. To put it simply, I am speculating.

Not that I am claiming the absolute for all of this; I'm hardly hypothesizing because there are no hard core facts in hand - nor do I want to venture in gathering such evidence for these claims too. It's just that recently, I am having a hard time remembering names.

Names have always been forgettable to me especially those of the characters in the films and series that I watch, or the constellation of ebooks I currently have at my disposal. I remember the characters, the Hitchcock blonde that got murdered while she was showering, or that guy who lost his wife and spends time on the bottom of a dry well to fix his marriage and find his wife, or that Audrey Hepburn incarnation that goes on a Roman holiday, or that Sputnik Sweetheart girl, but I completely forget their names. Like names to me are nothing but factors of social significance for the characters in the things I immerse in and have as much relevance as, maybe a dodo-patterned wallpaper on a historical novel about African tribes (?). Get my gist?

Well imagine that and apply that to real people in my life outside these cyber spaces. Imagine talking to the girl who's been forever taking care of your Nanay's house and completely forgetting what her name is. Imagine talking to your classmate and having a hard time conjuring who she actually is. It's a tip-of-the-tongue phenomena. Which boils down to my theory that maybe the universe inflicts a karma-induced form of individually torturing people (well not physically, but mentally). Or maybe not karma-induced but claim-induced. That once you claim it, you own it?

Nymphomania. Insomnia. Depression. That slight twitching of your right eye that just won't stop.  Arachnophobia. Forgetfulness. And a lot of -nias, -sions and -phobias.

But of course I may be talking about something that is of little relevance. I do remember names of people that I am very close to and there are certain protagonists and antagonists that I will never, ever forget. Holly Golightly. Sabrina. Percy Jackson. Aomame and Tengo. Erza, Natsu and the gang. Ted. Barney. Finn and Jake.

And to quote that long-haired guy from The Hobbit: "It's his excessive consumption of mushrooms that has addled his brain and yellowed his teeth." But in my case, it's not edible fungi. It's coffee. Or seem some evil universal manifestation of that.

Thursday, April 10, 2014


Immersing on the galaxies of Stardust. Cafe Land. Twitter. Attempts at reading Norwegian Wood. Application letters. Tax forms and tax schedules. Dreams of seascapes. Kevin Mallorca. Halo-halo. Guitar strings on songs. Lana del Rey. Dust allergies. Sunglasses. Two new pairs of shoes. Calls missed and unreplied messages. Blogger blues. House of Hades. The Hobbit. Guava trees. Review ruminations. Kylie Minogue. Santana's Smooth. Shirtless hours. Coffee in the morning. Coffee in the afternoon. Starbucks please. "You make me crazy, you make me wild". Ed Marie Domingo. National Anthem. Tumblr. Pyramus and Thisbe. Himeros. Was it the lady or the tiger? David Guison. Pregnant people. Mermaids. The Wizard of Oz please. "It's his excessive consumption of mushrooms that has addled his brain and yellowed his teeth". Dust allergies. Urgh.

Friday, April 4, 2014

Hello Broke

The heat is on and it became official. Summer is here. And our consistent efforts to stay hydrated proves that. But other than hydration problems, my concern this time of the year revolve around finances. And since my college graduation officially cut off my allowances, it's only a matter of time now before I start roaming our streets to beg for money.

Peer pressure dictated me to hit the gym. And even if my bestie promised that she'll pay for my membership (she's probably that desperate to have a gym buddy), even if she has a car to take us to the city, I simply cannot go anywhere with zero cash balance. Plus, I have an explosion of medical check-ups this summer and I just know that's gonna cost a few thousand pesos.

Like seriously, my expenditure list has gone ultra berserk. Maybe I need a job or something.

Tuesday, April 1, 2014

Officially Unemployed

My college graduation on the 27th of March passed like a blur. Snap snap. Clap clap. Diplomas and black togas. Stuff like that. Like a roll of film with images crumpled all together coloring the screen with a fresh prism of kaleidoscope.

It's an at-the-tip-of-the-tongue phenomenon. Like when you try to remember something but all you can think of are the things that surround that something, or only parts of that something. Never the collective. My graduation felt like that. Like slices of nostalgia. Baby's breath and strands of white orchid carefully arranged on that stage, my crush at 10 o'clock, the green carpet, the cameras sparkling at the backdrop, the endless array of black togas, those hopeful faces absorbing as much as they can..

My graduation passed like a blur. Maybe because I was too absorbed in my own world. After all, I was mourning what has ended and preparing myself for what will begin.