Sunday, February 12, 2017

Days left: 81

There's not much to report about us these days to be honest. Mine are just vessels filled with work and emptiness that lay ahead as I go through the night. The only solace that I have is literature and the online history crash course that I am currently addicted to. His boyfriend spends the weekends in our rented room and I have developed the habit of hermitism - a failed attempt, to be honest. But nonetheless, I have learned when to care, to engage in conversation, and when to become a chameleon to blend with the surroundings because apparently, lovers do not enjoy thinking about the third person in the room when saccharine thoughts overcome their logic. It is a bittersweet life. I would be lying if I say that I do not enjoy his boyfriend's company - he's a nice and sweet guy. But there are also moments when the darkness just overpowers me that I sob silently at night hoping that tomorrow would be better. I keep thinking about leaving but I don't really have a concrete and definite plan about whether I should and how I'd actually do it. As I said, I have resorted to resignation but apparently, floating in this river is not as smooth as I imagined it to be.

No comments:

Post a Comment