Nov. 18, 2014
If only there was an easier way to leave all these insecurities at home and just focus on the review. Having G on the same building, plus my attempts at moving on from E, have seriously distracted me from studying and learning what I must to pass the board exams. It's not like I don't want them around. I just wish that I was strong enough to bury all these feelings in a time capsule and just recover them after May 2015.
Independence, please. I need to realize that they're simply stars and that I have multitudes of galaxies living inside-glowing and growing and giving me warmth.
I feel hopeless, like maybe all those months apart from G haven't got me anywhere. Because looking at him now, I realize that I am still where I was a year ago. And E's already in the equation. And I love E and he's already got a boyfriend. And I'm lost. And lonely. And all of this is a crumpled mess I just can't seem to fix.
* * * * * * *
I'm still on review. See you after May!