Thursday, November 1, 2012

You Can't Remember the Title, Can You?


The things is, you are not yourself. And that's not a good thing. But it's also a good thing for a change, really. It's a cycle, a typhoon of personalities that shadow each other over each other, a merging of colors that practically define who you are at certain intervals. 

You take on persona after persona. Today you're the naive little Charlie, or the frenzied Holly Golightly while she searched for Cat that rainy day in New York-clutching to her only idea of a family, but tomorrow you could be anybody. You could be the cat by then darling. That would be charming. Or the chair. Whichever you prefer really.

You go to parties and street parties or the quiet types on hushed Roman verandas wearing those black alligator shoes that sweet old man gave you-or you could've bought those, you can't remember. Really. You can't remember. But the dress on the other hand, you're sure it was a gift from someone. Only you don't remember who but that doesn't really matter darling does it? I mean are we really gonna spend the entirety of today remembering where you got all those stuff? Don't be ridiculous. 

It will only bring up those nights you woke up with blood on your hands. But you were sure that was ketchup-with a horrible horrible stench. Even the body right next to you could've been creepy if it wasn't Mr. O'Riley. Or Mr. Something the other night. But you're sure this was just a Halloween prank. I mean, how else will you have blood in those perfectly manicured hands darling? You would never allow it.

Oh golly. The time. It's already 8:45 and you'd never want to be late for a party. O good heavens no! It would be impolite. And ratty. Off you go darling. And have you brought that handy knife in your bag? We wouldn't want any impolite men now, do we?
vii: Jungian Concept of Individuation

16 comments:

  1. And no matter how many persona, we still be our own unique self. Very good, Rei!

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    1. Well. At the end of the day, what matters most is how we look at ourselves in the mirror, right? Thanks LJ.

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  2. I sense your concern to someone but couldn't tell. I'm not sure.

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    1. I suppose the concern was from the conscious persona to the unconscious persona. Ignorance makes people worry. Especially when it concerns stuff that they have done.

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    2. i feel funny. we often talk to ourselves (I do). it was supposed to make us smart. sadly, we always never listen. :)

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    3. Haha. Hey. Everyone's guilty of that. No need to worry.

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  3. we think we are conscious and unique but that is not really true. "we are conscious in the realm of the collective and we do not even know how
    little our individual consciousness is. it needs quite a search to find even fragments of consciousness that are personal." (von franz)

    it is disorienting to discover that everything is just a series of reflections in a house of mirrors.

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    1. Like trying to make sense of perceptions, feelings, experiences and stuff?

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    2. actually i'm referring to the notion that what we think is personal and unique about us is in fact, not personal or unique. but we are much driven by the forces that shape our social role in life. and in life, that is enough for most. but for others, it is disorienting.

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    3. Well that's an uncomfortable notion. You mean nothing is ever really personal? >.<

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    4. we can make things personal, but it requires a lot of conscious effort -- much more than 99% are willing, able or interested to give.

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    5. Ooh. Sounds like a very difficult process.

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  4. I can sense a feeling of panic here, with the persona struggling to keep it together. Very apt for Halloween :)

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    1. Not my intention to make it Halloween-ish. But I suppose that's a compliment. LOL. Thanks Camille :D

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  5. I could be writing this comment. Or I could have read it? lolz

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