Saturday, November 10, 2012

November Blues, Reds and Yellows

November came swiftly and in just a few days, I will officially mark my second decade of existence. To be honest, it's not something that I am excited about. The responsibilities, the idea of simply growing up and being illegally young, discussions of stuff to do and should do in this lifetime, urgh. There's simply a mountain of stuff to think about and I am not the kind who thinks about stuff. I'm more of the worry-about-stuff kind of  person and right now I really am worried about everything.

What if I turn into an utter failure? What if I am not what other people expect me to be? I mean, I know that I shouldn't really care about what they say, but I am pressured. Trying-not-to-disappoint-Mom is the worst pressure an only-son could ever have.

And so November is officially a cold bitter frost in contrast to the sunny skies just outside my window. With a lot of stuff on my mind, with a lot of things to do, I just pray that I don't go delusional or completely bonkers when I reach 20.

Or maybe I'm simply in a quarter-life (or mid-life *gulp*) crisis. Who knows. November just started anyway. Fingers-crossed?

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