March 11, 2011
For the first time in the last few days, I am speechless. Maybe I've grown tired of everything, of heartaches, and the endless Adele songs (that's me while listening to her "One and Only"), and of course, the many regrets one commits whilst trying to move on from a failed relationship.
And so, since I'm starting to feel utterly exhausted from yearning for stuff that aren't supposed to be mine, I have concluded that this is the time to stop wishing for the past to return. It's too unhealthy.
So have I recovered? I suppose so. Thuogh I expected that I could go on for months doing this, but I guess I just cannot. Writing these, I believe, have helped me through these crazy five days but to continue doing so would only bring back the memories of something that are not meant to be remembered.
I wanted him to read this. I suppose that'll give justice to my work. But somehow there's a part in me that doesn't.
Maybe it's the part that wants him back, not now. But maybe in the next few years, when both of us have matured enough. We're young, I get it. And if ever that time comes, I wouldn't give him any reason to let me go, because by that time, I will NEVER let him go.
Or maybe its the part that had enough of him. The one that cried so much on sleepless nights, the one who dreamed that everythng was a nightmare, the one who wanted the happy mornings back, the one that got hurt.
But whichever part of me, its clear that he will always have a part in my heart (and this is a crappy line).
They say that freedom is a gift...
I'm ready to accept it. :)