Friday, July 15, 2011

Previous Dilemnas

I've always hated my course. Accountancy was always and still is too difficult for someone like me who thinks that the English language is far more romantic than the Mathematics (point justified through past observations and comparisons between both).

As evidence of this public loathing, I wrote these two separate blog entries from my past blog. Here they are:

. . . . . .
WHERE I AM IS NOT WHERE I WANT TO BE

Blank pages (in this case, blank screens) are blank canvases waiting to be painted by the master wordsmith. I can depict the stars, the moon, the universe with just the tip of that trusty old pen. I can create riches, food, emotions and things people envy. I can even make a world of my own!

Unfortunately, I have lost the Midas touch. I have been suffering from writer's block for two years now and i have been unable to create compositions that ponder the heart. I need to freshen up a bit. I miss the world i once belonged. I miss the feeling of contentment after i place the last period of my works. I miss the joy of spending endless nights just to come up with a fitting tittle. I miss writing in its entirety. I miss ME.

Oh Reimond. Where are you now?

. . . . .

REGRETS. CONTEMPLATION.

Autumn evenings my lovely screen. Today I realized that doing something without your heart is laborious. Of course I learned that in the 17 yrs of my life and I'm sure you have too, it's just that today, it seems more profound.

Studying accounting has it perks. And like all things, it has it's cons too. The first pro is the of pride you get when you hold those thick books. It immediately elevates your intelligence first-impression-wise. Secondly, you mingle with intelligent people and have intelligent friends. Third, you enjoy the privilege of being a part of the "cream of the crop", the most brainy among the courses offered in your school (in our school at least). Aside from those three, you also have the chance to become a Certified Public Accountant if the Fates favor you.

But when your heart is elsewhere, you never enjoy the goods. Everyday is a struggle. Everyday is regretful. Everyday is a contemplation of not following your dreams, of not being brave enough to stand on your own, or not defying peer pressure, of being afraid to fail.

Sometimes I wish I made the right choice. I look at my past now and there I was lost in the whirlpools of time.

I'm just happy that I'm over both of those phases. I've learned to love this course but that doesn't mean I'd give up on my dreams too.

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